Love Sex Romance, blog no. 2
Bring Food. Arrive Naked. (Part 1)

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She’s standing on your porch, ringing the doorbell, waiting for you. She’s holding your Favorite Food of All Time. (For the sake of argument, let’s say it’s a deep-dish pizza with pepperoni, sausage and mushrooms.) And she’s wearing…nothing. (She heeded the advice of some crazy author who suggested that she “Bring Food. Arrive Naked.”—to surprise and delight her mate.”

There may be a man who would not be gaga if his lover appeared at the door in this manner—but in twenty-five years of teaching Romance Seminars, I’ve never met one. 

And while this advice will certainly work for singles, it is really intended for marrieds. I understand from watching Friends and Sex and the City that this kind of behavior is commonplace in the singles world. It’s here among the veteran marrieds that these kinds of antics are lacking/desired/needed/fantasized about. 

Food Note: Anything fancier than a pizza is unnecessary.

Garment Note: High heels are allowed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 3
Bring Food. Arrive Naked. (From the "Romantic Ideas" File.)

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I try. I really do. I try to find romantic ideas that are specifically for one gender and not the other. You know, Mars/Venus and all that crap. But ninety-nine percent of all romantic gestures work equally well, regardless of which gender is giving or receiving. 

I’d long thought that this idea [bringing food, and arriving naked] was really a guy thing. Because when I suggest it in seminars, the guys hoot and holler and stamp their feet. But then after the seminar, women would take me by the elbow and confide: “It would drive me wild if my guy did this for me! Give me a man in a trench coat with a plate of Godiva chocolates, over a guy in a tuxedo with flowers any day!”

Go figure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 4
But is Romance COOL?? (Romantic Ideas for Him)

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Are you looking for romantic ideas for him? Well why didn't you say so?! 

It will help both of you to understand one of the major things that motivate men.

The male of the species is driven primarily by the desire to be cool. What about money, power and sex, you ask? They’re merely alternate routes to being cool.

The question of the day is, of course, “Is romance cool?”

• Romance is not cool if you define it as fawning, beseeching, insecure and obligatory. 
• Romance is cool if you define it as genuine, heartfelt, passionate, rule-breaking, risk-taking, confident-to-the-point-of-cockiness, outrageous, and creative. 

I know that many guys won't quite know how to be genuine, heartfelt or passionate. (Gals: Give 'em time!)

But most guys like rule-breaking and risk-taking. And they often like being outrageous and creative.  (Guys: Start where you're comfortable, and build from there. Practice makes perfect. Well, maybe not perfect...but a whole lot of fun. And that's good enough, isn't it?)

• Outrageous: Give her 10 pounds of M&Ms. Show-up after work dressed in a tuxedo.
• Creative: Write a list: "The Top 10 Reasons I Love You." Tape it to the bathroom mirror.
• Rule-breaking: Don't serve her breakfast-in-bed...Serve her dinner-in-bed.
• Risk-taking: Show a little affection in public. (Why should you care what "the guys" think?!)

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Greg Godek has come out of retirement to help make the world a better place by helping people to express their love more often and more creatively. 

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 5
Warp Factor 2.

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The speed of love is 1.7 miles per hour—that’s the speed of a slow walk. The speed of romance, on the other hand, is warp factor 2—that’s two times the speed of light. 

Love is slow. Love takes its time. Love saunters. 

Romance is fast. Romance is breathless. Romance races along, playing tag with its lover, waiting breathlessly, then bolting forward with a surge of passionate energy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 6
Valentine’s Day Revisited.

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Would you like to sign our petition? We’re trying to collect a million signatures in an effort to create a national holiday devoted to love. 

You say we already have Valentine’s Day? Well, we hate to be argumentative, but Valentine’s Day isn’t really a “holiday,” now, is it? (In our dictionary, a “holiday” is defined as “a festive time of no work; an officially sanctioned day of leisure and pleasure, usually devoted to a specific concept or celebration.”) 

We believe that Valentine’s day is, at best, a pseudo-holiday. Something that our culture pays lip-service to, but that we don’t really take seriously. You know, like those other “holidays” such as Flag Day, Arbor Day and Ground Hog Day. 

We believe that since most people hold “love” to be their highest value, there should be a special day of recognition devoted to it. You know, the way people value over-eating on Thanksgiving; and the way we pay homage to shopping on Christmas; and the way we celebrate explosives on the Fourth of July. Love should rank right up there, don’t you think?!?

So please consider signing our petition. You just might help change the world. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 7
Don’t be Romantic (ALL the Time).

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You’ve certainly heard the phrase “Too much of a good thing.” Well believe it or not, it applies to romance, too. Yes, it is possible to be too romantic. 

Here’s why: If you’re romantic all the time it becomes expected, predictable and boring. 

What should you do? Be romantic—but don’t fall into predictable patterns or common routines. 

Don’t believe me? Go ask the behavioral psychologists. They call it “intermittent reinforcement.” Huh?!? “Intermittent reinforcement.” The PhD’s who study these things have shown that occasional rewards—“intermittent reinforcement”—is more effective than either consistent rewards or no rewards at all. 

Who knew??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 8
Don’t Boil Your Frog.*

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Why does romance fade away from most relationships over time??

Science provides the answer. 

If you place a frog in a pot of water, and slowly heat it up, the frog will boil to death. 

You see, if the temperature change is gradual, the frog won’t notice what’s happening, he’ll become sluggish, and before he knows it, it will be too late to save himself. 

If, on the other hand, you were to drop a frog into a pot of boiling water, he would instantly leap out.*

People, too, often won’t notice gradual changes in their environments. When a couple takes one another for granted; when they stop the little kindnesses; when they stop wooing one another . . . that’s when romance fades away. 

Best advice: Remember the frogs!

* No frogs were harmed in the creation of this chapter. The production of this book was supervised by the ASPCA.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 9
Freud on Romance.

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[Excerpts from Sigmund Freud’s notebook February 14, 1934.]

Problems. Major problems. Where to start?? Delusions of grandeur. Flights of fancy. Propensity to fall, sometimes to leap. Wild mood swings: From giddy to morose, from confident to devastated. All tangled up with other aspects, especially sex. What a mess. Hard to tell where romance leaves off and sex begins. 

Under different conditions I would recommend the removal of the concept of romance from the human psyche altogether. However, in my considered opinion, romance has so suffused the human brain/psyche/soul that it would be impossible to remove the affliction without killing the patient. Romance has actually become a part of Human Nature. 

It seems that to be human is to be romantic. 

Romance has become the primary vehicle for the transmission of love. It has also become the primary driving force in other realms of human endeavor. Scientific advances, for example, are made only by people who are passionate (i.e., romantic) about their interests. And successful businesses are, curiously, most often created by people who are not pursuing money, but rather, are pursuing what they love (again, romance!). Everywhere I turn, it’s romance, romance, romance! 

Could it be that romance is more important than sex? I may have to revise my theories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 10
Plagiarize!

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One of the secrets of many romantic guys is the time-honored academic tradition of plagiarizm. Or, as we in the romance biz prefer to say, “borrowing”—or “finding inspiration.”

Sign all your love notes with: 

“I am, as I was and always will be—yours, yours, yours, yours, yours.”

[From the musical “1776”]

For a card that accompanies a bouquet:

“All you need is love . . . And all I need is YOU.”

[Thanks to John and Paul.]

For a note to accompany that box of chocolates:

“How sweet it is to be loved by you . . . And speaking of ’sweets,’ this is just for you, my sweet one!”

[Thanks to James Taylor]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg

Love Sex Romance, blog no. 11
The Pooty-Pie Effect.

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Calvin: I’m never gonna get married. Are you?
Hobbes: Hmmm…I suppose if the right person came along, I might. Someone with green eyes and a nice laugh, who I could call “Pooty-Pie.”
Calvin (With eyes bugging out, and hair standing on end): “POOTY-PIE?!”
Hobbes (With a big grin): Or “Bitsy Pookims.”
Calvin (Sticking his tongue out): I think that would affect my stomach a lot more than my heart.”
Hobbes: “Bitsy Pookims,” I’d say. “Yes, Snoogy Woogy,” she’d reply.

I don’t know about you, but I wish that I had an “Inner Voice” or alter-ego as vivid and as wise as Hobbes. The conversations that I have with myself are usually about convincing myself that my own opinions are right. Calvin, on the other hand, gets to challenge himself and experience different options through Hobbes.

Calvin’s public persona is macho and full of bravado, unwilling to feel the need for female companionship. But his inner self longs for closeness, and actually revels in the thought (just look at Hobbes’ grin in the third panel!).

Some thoughts on “Pooty Pie”: Nearly all close couples have pet names for each other. These names can be     silly, sexy, meaningful or nonsensical—but most of all, they are private. Ask a banker what his wife calls him, and he’ll scowl at you. Ask a lawyer what she calls her lover, and she’ll threaten to sue you. But behind closed doors . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greg